Burgering the Second: Abbaye

CHRONICLED HEREIN is the compiled scoring for BURGERING THE SECOND at the eatery known as the ABBAYE.

SIX Officers of Baron Uther's Royal Gustatory Expeditionary Regiment and ONE Batman to the Major participated in Burgering the Second.

MEAT - 4.86
JUICE - 4.71
TOPPINGS - 5
SATISFACTION - 4.71
BUN QUALITY - 4.86
GREASE FACTOR - 4.43
LORD ECKSTEIN'S FACTOR - 4.86

TOTAL - 33.43 out of 35

Regiment's scoring has set the bar for future burgerings at levels this Captain finds dubious, however Captain was not present for burgering.

All scores were a marked improvement over BURGERING THE FIRST: CHARCOAL PIT. Of particular note is the perfect score for TOPPINGS, which seems to be due in large part to the presence of ASIAGO CHEESE as a selection. BUN QUALITY, MEAT, and LORD ECKSTEIN factors were each 1 Officer vote away from perfection with dissenting Officers each giving a score of 4.

Biggest surprise result result was LORD ECKSTEIN'S FACTOR scoring higher than CHARCOAL PIT which was initially thought to be a high bar for this category, however availability of beer, lack of insect sighting, and better seating arrangement are all thought to have contributed to the ABBAYE'S high score. Location in area known to have high hipster population also did not detract from score as initially expected.

Clearly BURGERING THE SECOND should be considered a smashing success and B.U.R.G.E.R.'s highest recommendation, the MEDAL OF PRAESTO PABULUM, is hereby awarded to ABBAYE.

CARPE BUBULAM

Burgering the First: Charcoal Pit

CHRONICLED HEREIN is the compiled scoring for BURGERING THE FIRST at the eatery known as the CHARCOAL PIT.

TWO Officers of Baron Uther's Royal Gustatory Expeditionary Regiment and SEVEN Officer Cadets participated in Burgering the First.

MEAT - 3.44
JUICE - 2.89
TOPPINGS - 4
SATISFACTION - 4
BUN QUALITY - 2.44
GREASE FACTOR - 3.89
LORD ECKSTEIN'S FACTOR - 4.56

TOTAL - 25.22 out of 35

Regiment was split between two booths next to each other with one brave cadet positioned between the 2 booths in a folding chair. All officers scored the hand made patties with a 3 or 4 in the MEAT category.

However, JUICE scores varied wildly between the two booths as one booth, which included the Esteemed Major himself, getting overcooked burgers. The Major's burger was deemed to be so overcooked as to receive a score of "1". On the opposite extreme, the Captain's burger was deemed to be cooked a perfect medium rare and scored a "5".


With only 2 exceptions, TOPPINGS scored a 4 or 5 from all Officers and were deemed to be substantial.


The poorest score came in BUN QUALITY, with all Officers scoring this a 2 or 3. Clearly the area where immediate improvement could be made as a composite score of 2.44 comes in at below average.


GREASE again appeared to be split between the two booths.


LORD ECKSTEIN'S FACTOR is where the Charcoal Pit excelled with 4 or 5 across the board. All Officers agreed that the "old school" feel was fantastic. Handmade milkshakes and sides including fries and onion rings were sampled with excellent results all around.


The Charcoal Pit provides an outstanding place for a first burgering and all Officers felt their taste buds had been appropriately calibrated for future burgerings. Promotions to 2nd Lieutenant were handed out to all Officer Cadets (with one exception where an Officer Cadet was appointed Batman to the Major and immediately assigned the task of boot polishing).

CARPE BUBULAM